Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
