Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
