are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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