I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
