yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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