So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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