Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
