He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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