This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
