I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
