All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
