David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
