I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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