he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
