My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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