When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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