He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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