is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize