I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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