it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
nutella sex= disaster
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
