It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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