Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
