Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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