No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize