i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
