why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
