Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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