i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I did not marry a roomba.
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