i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
