Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
