I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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