Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize