I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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