Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
