You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
