Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
