I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize