i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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