i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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