Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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