You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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