Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
