a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
