Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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