3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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