Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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