I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
