So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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