At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
