there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
