Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
whose parrot is this?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize