what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
