i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
