took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
