Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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