and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
