maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize