it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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