Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
