5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
