Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
