Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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