my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize