I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
