So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
