Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
