My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We are all done wearing pants today
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
