We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
