Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
