they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
