Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
