I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
