is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize