Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
