you have to choose: penises or morals?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
