On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
