When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
