Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize