she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
