dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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